6 months in

Where has the time gone…we are 2/3 of the way through our pregnancy journey. It’s flown by. 6 months have passed…that’s a long time isn’t it, yet it feels like just yesterday I was sharing the news that Im going to be a dad….again.We have been on an incredible journey so far and we have some significant changes to our routine and lifestyle.

I’ve spent quite a bit of my spare time upcycling Gracie’s nursery furniture. I finished the wardrobe and cot a few weeks ago but only just finished the changing table this weekend. It was being stored in my Mother-in-laws loft and we only recently collected it. I decided that I would give the walls of the nursery a fresh lick of paint and have put the new curtains up. It’s all coming together nicely. I need to go through the copious amounts of stuff in the loft to see what we will reuse for Baby Hew No2 and what can go to a new home. I also need to get a toy box and book shelf, then the nursery will be complete. For Gracie I painted a farmyard scene on her toy box, I’m not sure what I will do this time round. I’m considering waiting until Baby Hew No2 is here and make it a bit more personal to them.

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Pregnacy this time round has been different for Mummy Hew and I. I dont want to come across like we are taking it for granted but the milestones just aren’t as exciting as they were with Gracie. Is this a sign of what raising a second child will be like. Will it’s first mouthful of food be less exciting to us? Will it’s first tooth piercing it’s little gum just be a milestone we tick off? After it’s first steps will I be as excited as I was with Gracie? Are these milestones Gracie will enjoy whitnessing more that me? A colleague said to me, not long after we had Gracie, you have the first child for you to enjoy and the second for the first child to enjoy. It’s quite true isn’t it. As much as I am sure we will be excited of all the milestones, no doubt with a camera in the poor child’s face, for Gracie this will be the first time she is seeing these things. I’m quite looking forward to seeing her reactions to the various things Baby Hew No2 gets up to. She is insisting on wanting to change her Brother or Sister’s nappy….how do you think she will react to the meconium? Maybe I won’t let her change the first nappy.

This pregnancy has also been different because we are having what the hospital call a ‘consultant led’ pregnancy. But if I’m honest, I call bullshit. The consultant hasn’t led anything yet. In my view, the hospital trust seems to be more concered about their targets and costs, rather than the choice of the Mother. I think I’ve ranted about this before, I just don’t think it’s fair. Due to Mummy Hew having an emergany C-Section we had to attend a VBAC class. In my opinion this was to enable the hospital trust to move Mother’s away from a planned C-section as much as possible. They shared a number of statistics, which after researching, are factually wrong…or manipulated to allow you to believe they are worse than they are in reality. It just isn’t fair. We had a follow up appointment with our midwife who expressed ‘it is the Mothers choice’ how she births her child…..just not under this hospital trust. It concerns me that the wider picture isn’t being taken into consideration. The view to save a few hundred quid in the short term and disregard the long term effects of any potential mental health issues concerns me greatly. We don’t know what the future holds, but taking options away from anyone when considering how they birth their child could have a significant impact on their mental health and wellbeing. What’s more frustrating is that our midwife agrees with us, we’re just stuck in a process. Just to note, I’m not just referring to the choice of having a C-section; the option of using the birthing pool, birthing suite, the option to have lights dimmed, not be hooked up to a monitor from the first contraction, to use other birthing options that aren’t laying on your back stuck to a bed have all been taken away from us.

We felt we were going round in circles and not getting anywhere. We talked a bit about an ‘ideal world’ and what we would do if we had free reign….but we just don’t know. It’s frustrating not having all the options available to be able to chose what you want to do, recognising in reality what will happen on the day we have very little control over. We have to attend a ‘birthing options’ class with another consultant midwife. I feel they are just sending us to this class because we have challenged what options are avaliable rather than just accepting we have to do what the hospital wants us to do, which is to be strapped to a machine and stuck on a bed. I’ll keep you posted on how that goes.

Mummy Hew signed up for an online Hypnobirthing class. I never thought it was going to be for us….but I was pleasantly surprised. We opted for the online version for two reasons: it was a fraction of the price and we weren’t sure how we would get on with it. We are about half way through the online class..we’re really enjoying it. It’s highlighted to us that we’ve been right to challenge, rather than just accept what the hospital is telling us. Once we have finished the course I will do a full blog post. If anyone is considering hypnobirthing classes, I would highly recommend the online version byThe Positive Birth Company.

Baby Hew No2’s kicks are getting a lot stronger now. Gracie can feel them and quite enjoys talking to Mummy Hew’s tummy. Mummy Hew is still doing really well. She is going through a stage of being unable to eat anything too sweet without feeling light headed afterwards. We read about the sudden sugar rush she is experiencing after eating sugar and whether eating a family size bar of Galaxy could have had anything to do with it. We have a midwife appointment after Easter where they will check Mummy Hew’s bloods, so should bottom anything out then. It means I get to eat all her Easter eggs..positive lining and all!

Mummy Hew needs to submit her MATB1 form….I’ll remind her again on Tuesday. Once that is done, I can submit my SPL form. Our current plan is that Mummy Hew will take the first 40 weeks and I will take the remaining 12…part of this will be dictated by the arrival of Baby Hew No2 but it will be roughly 12 weeks I take. As of next week I will no longer we working Wednesday afternoons so I need to have a serous think about  what I’m going to do with my time. The afternoons will be spent with Gracie, doing what she wants. I feel I need to have a plan for my SPL block….something me and Baby Hew No2 can do together – maybe we will enroll in a swimming class or baby Yoga.

 

 

 

2 thoughts on “6 months in

  1. Such a lovely insight into your feelings regarding a second child. It’s true you have less time and small moments might pass by. But, other occasions can seem even better. Such as birthdays – you celebrate the child in question and then you get all the excitement of the sibling with their secret preparations. It’s the same when one child helps the other to achieve their first something – doubly special! x

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  2. Time is always the issue on the second sometimes it worth it to try and stand back and take it all in, saying that you will still miss bits lovely read Thank you for linking to #Thatfridaylinky please come back next week

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